“Did you get dropped on your head when you were a baby?”
“As a matter of fact, I did.”
Poor Theo. I stupidly, carelessly, recklessly set Theo up on the twin bed in his room as I stood next to him and selected his clothes from the dresser. I kept looking at him and back to the clothes in my hand. Before I knew it, he was heading straight down onto the carpet below. He landed head-first and I scooped him up immediately. I cradled and rocked him in terror as he wailed. I said I was sorry a hundred times. He kept putting his pacifier into his mouth and then popping it back out as he screamed out in fear and shock. I was horrified at what I’d done and terrified that I had broken my baby.
When Theo calmed a little, I gave his body a once over and he seemed to have no broken bones or skin. I carried him onto the couch with me and laid him across my lap and arm. He kind of zoned out for a while, staring at my chest but not falling asleep (thank god.) I cooed to him and stroked his hair, wondering what I should do, if anything. After a few moments, he sat up in my lap and started behaving pretty much as he always does. Within an hour he was smiling and playing again.
That afternoon as I headed to work, I let our daycare lady know to call me if anything strange cropped up. I was nervous about telling Vlady later that night and wondered if I really should. Was it worth worrying him? But what if something did crop up later and I’d have to confess that I’d hidden something from him?
I did tell Vlady that evening when I got home late. He said Theo was pretty much normal but seemed sleepier than usual. Vlady was understandably quite upset and worried. I emailed Theo’s doctor to put both our minds at ease. The next morning’s response:
“Based on the hx and what followed, it seems/sounds like the event was scary but nothing serious happened, this time. If anything were to have happened that was serious, it would have been very obvious by now. Bottom line: he’s fine. Call me, e-mail me if questions arise, etc. Dr. J”
And indeed, he is fine. He’s forgotten it, but I never will. From now on, that baby’s staying on the floor.
Baby’s First Haircut: Thursday
Theo really enjoyed sitting in the little fire engine. He took no notice of the nice lady trimming his hair. Yes, we kept the hair. The first photo is a “before” shot from two days earlier. Click on any image for a larger version.
Baby’s First Crawl Forward: Friday
Today I watched in amazement as Theo teetered on hands and legs, moving forward for the first time we had ever seen it. I hollered for Vlady to join us and he was just as excited. Those first tentative little moves forward are a joy to Mommy and Daddy’s eyes after a month of Theo scootching backward all the time. Go, boy, go! We cheered and clapped for our little son and his new superpower.
Vlady got some video, and below is two clips edited together. In the first clip, Theo disappears behind my leg like Bigfoot behind a tree. The second clip shows his amazing new skill a little better.
Update, 30 Minutes Later
I told Vlady about this little blog post of “firsts.” His response: “We should have hit him in the head earlier to make him crawl.”
Today, Theo and I went to Costco, and on the way home he fell asleep. Fifteen minutes into his nap, we were home. I tried to quietly transfer him in his car seat into the house without waking him. When my key entered the lock on the front door, his eyes popped open. Oh, well.
Hoping that he would go back to sleep (getting a longer nap and letting me get some chores done before I left for work,) I put him in his swing. I gave him the stuffed lion he loves. He toyed with the mobile that hangs overhead, and I set about my tasks. Shortly, he begun to fuss. I kept stroking his head and offering him his pacifier.
I still had to feed the fish, clean the cat box, pack the diaper bag for daycare, make myself lunch. I did these as quickly as I could, but Theo grew more and more desperate. By the time I finished assembling my sandwich, he was fully crying with pitiful tears streaming down his cheeks.
I lifted Theo from his swing and carried him to the couch. I sat him next to where I was going to sit. I gave him his xylophone and the matching wand. He began a little xylophone recital for me.
I sat down next to my baby and recovered my sandwich plate from the side table. As soon as Theo saw this, he reached for the sandwich. I fetched a graham cracker out of the nearby diaper bag and handed it to him.
I can’t tell you how proud and pleased Theo seemed at that moment. Sitting next to Mommy like a big boy, eating a yummy snack just like she was. Looking up at Mommy with a sunny disposition and everything right with the world. I felt pretty proud and pleased too.
If I had to be honest, I would say that when I first agreed to have a baby with my husband, I was somewhat ambivalent about the prospect. Earlier in my life, I was gung-ho about the idea of child-rearing, but as I got older I grew less interested in becoming “tied down” with a child. Nevertheless, I did all in my power to (eventually) give birth to a healthy baby boy over the course of over two years. I was committed, and I overcame a number of snafus that occurred during my pregnancy and delivery. Even after the baby was born, I was terrified when he went into NICU and I was so afraid of losing him, but the ambivalence was still there. Where was that instantaneous bonding I was expecting to have? Why was I still unsure I wanted a child in the first place?
The first couple of months were quite a trial, and in my worst (most exhausted moments,) I thought to myself: “this is all Vlady’s fault. He wanted this.” Thank god I never vocalized it to him. And I didn’t really mean it. After all, we had both worked so hard to make it all happen.
At about week three of Theo’s life, I despaired that we had acquired a “difficult baby” and I resigned myself to doing the best I could with our lot in life. I showered as much love as I had in me on little Theo, subscribing in the “fake it ’til you make it” model. I discovered just how much patience I really had inside of me. It helped that I truly empathized with this helpless little creature whose digestive system and brain had a long way to go. I didn’t blame him for crying so much, but it was still hard on us. I did love Theo, but I wasn’t “in love” with him, you know what I mean?
By three months old, his squalling eased up and he started smiling more. Four and a half months after that, and I am totally in love with this baby boy. As I sit here on a break from the late-night class I am teaching, I ache to see him and play with him. He is home with his daddy, and I envy Vlady for it. I did have Theo all to myself this morning while Vlady had to be at work, so I guess I can’t complain.
Somewhere along the way my whole perspective changed on being a mother, and it happened along the same timeline as Theo’s personality bursting forth. I would like to take credit for just what an amazing and happy little kid he is, but I know his father and I only had a part in who he is today. His temperament is in great part a function of genetics and chance. However, I know that we met (and still meet) his every need the best we knew how, and that helps a baby feel confident and secure.
Every day I love Theo more, and I simply marvel at how he’s grown, what he can do, and the fact that I had anything to do with his very creation. Theo’s showing his attachment to me recently too, in a bittersweet way. He sometimes starts crying when I walk away, and it absolutely breaks my heart. But it also warms the cockles of my heart. Your spouse or relatives may hate to see you leave too, but they rarely break down and wail. A baby’s heart is on his sleeve. I want to wail too when I leave my sweet Pook.
Ya Ya Ya
Theo’s graduated from long outbursts of vowel sounds to a sort of babbling in the past two weeks. I finally managed to catch some video. He does it in shorts bursts and tends to get distracted when cameras come out.
Bottle Grabbing
Last night, Theo showed us a new skill. He is able to grab his (near-empty) bottle and direct the nipple into his mouth.
He loved every one of the gifts our kind friends and family gave him for Christmas. Thank you so much! Click on any image below for a larger version:
Teeth
Theo started showing signs of a third tooth a few days ago, and it’s now popped out its pearly head. It’s the top right incisor. I’m not sure, but I think its neighbor is on its way too. When Theo’s mouth is nearly closed and the upper and lower teeth aligned, it confirms my suspicion that the bottom two teeth are off-center. This tells me that indeed Theo has inherited my set of three bottom incisors (rather than four.)
Heavy, Man
On Wednesday, Theo officially hit the 20-pound mark. I am SO glad I bought myself an SUV two weeks ago (a Honda CRV.) Now I can slide his car seat straight in, instead of doing wild contortions to get him in and out of the back seat of my old 2-door Civic.
Almost Crawling
Two days ago, Theo started getting right up on his hands and knees, and rocking back and forth. I caught a little video of it yesterday:
And here are photos:
In general, Theo’s becoming exceptionally physical. I am becoming less and less concerned about the doctor’s warning about “muscle imbalance.” Theo’s physicality seems to border on athletic. Below is an example of how squirmy he can be when I hold him in my lap. He might cuddle for a split-second, but then he’s on the move again.
Socializing
Today several of the mommies from my Mommy and Me group got together, and Theo had a great time. I especially want to share the following sequence of images. I call it The Great Paci Nab. Notice how baby Kurt cleverly distracts Theo with a foam letter O, then makes his move—snagging Theo’s pacifier and pulling them both to the floor. Kurt then studies his new acquisition and Theo is none the wiser. Thanks to my dear friend Angela for the hip new outfit Theo’s wearing. Click on the image below for a larger version.
This morning, Theo and I went to see Doctor Sue in the Physical Therapy department at Kaiser. We were referred there by the doctor who saw him two weeks ago in the preemie screening clinic (again, he was a full-term baby but had a low Apgar score of 5, 6, 8.)
I have come home with some good feelings and some new exercises for Theo. Doctor Sue did a number of little tasks with Theo and said that in general he is coming along very nicely. She even said that his Apgar score is not alarming—anything above a 5 for the second number means that the baby will probably develop normally. She said that he has a nice, round head, meaning that he is not lying his head more to one side than the other when sleeping. Sue got to see Theo sitting up very steadily and confidently, and how he can now lift his tummy a but off the ground while on his hands and knees. She also saw his left-hand preference and reiterated that we don’t want to see that until about two years of age. She explained that we want babies’ brains to share information freely between the two halves (I skipped mentioning that I knew about the function of the Corpus callosum.) The doctor took off Theo’s socks and watched him as he sat on my lap. He twirled his fingers, and his toes moved up and down as well as his feet. Sue said this is exactly what we want to see: the hands and feet should be active in a six-month-old. I asked her if she’d even seen a baby do the “hocus pocus” routine Theo does with his hands, and she said no.
What Doctor Sue did find concerning was Theo’s tendency to retract his shoulders and arch his back. Theo often props himself up on his elbows when laid back on the floor or in his swing, and this is a part of that. In the photo below, I just missed the moment where he is fully propped up. But you can see his elbows still pulled back and his head lifted up. Eventually, he can’t keep the posture up and he relaxes.
By the way, when Theo demonstrated this very behavior to Doctor Sue, she thought it was more funny than alarming. She hadn’t seen a baby do that before either.
However, Theo is less comfortable pulling his shoulders, arms and hands out in front of him. This can stunt his ability to crawl. This, she said, might not affect his development, but it also might. She has a 22-month-old she’s working on who never learned to crawl or walk because of the same issue. She said she’s seeing a lot of this shoulder retraction issue because of the “Back to Sleep” movement. She also noticed a couple of times that Theo tends to lean his right ear down toward his right shoulder.
Doctor Sue gave me a few exercises to do with Theo “with every diaper change,” meaning every 3 waking hours. She said that he should loosen up, and the problem wane fairly quickly. We go to see her again on January 26.
In my last post I described our experience going to get Theo’s development checked out at six months. I had misremembered that this was scheduled because he was in NICU. It was instead because his Apgar score was only 5, 6, and 8 (his airway was clogged with a mucus plug when he was born.)
Both postpartum incidences are noted on the report we received in the mail yesterday. If you are so inclined, you may read it by clicking the thumbnail image below. If you are not so inclined, there are pictures below!
Last Tuesday, Theo had an appointment with the Preemie Department at Kaiser to test his development at 6 months. He was not born premature, but he was in NICU for most of his first week. I guess any baby in NICU gets this special check-up.
Theo saw two doctors. The first one tested his fine motor skills and related behavior. She brought out small toys and placed them in front of him while he sat on my lap. She rolled a ball to him to see if he would figure out how to roll it back. I mentioned that he has a preference for using his left hand and she verified and made a note of that. She tested his reaction to a bell ringing just out of sight. She saw how he responded to objects being dropped off a table ledge out of sight. She gave him a mirror to look into. She made notes on a checklist.
The doctor told me that Theo is way too young for handedness, that this should occur at ages 2 or 3. We need to help him strengthen his right hand, she said. Offer him toys on his right side instead of the left, for example.
Theo started getting fussy due to hunger, so I fed him. Then the doctor tested how he responded to various stimuli while sitting. He was sitting up very well, considering what a new skill this is for him. However, he wasn’t turning at the torso to respond to my voice. Then she laid him on his tummy for further tasks, and he promptly spit up. He didn’t have a chance to demonstrate his rolling-over skills. She ended the session and cleaned up the mat.
The doctor told me that we should cease all use of the Jumperoo. She told me that it exercises muscles that are not helpful in the development of crawling and walking skills, and that it takes away from time he needs to spend on the floor. We’re also supposed to stop holding him in a standing position on our laps, for the same reason.
The second doctor tested his reflexes with the rubber mallet, and checked whether or not he put his arms out in a protective gesture when spun one way or another in a sitting position. He did not, but she said that babies typically develop that later. She reiterated the warnings about the Jumperoo and standing positions. We should get a full report in about two weeks.
I walked into that appointment very proud of my son’s physical development, and walked out chastised and worried. I also felt like they didn’t provide Theo enough motivation for some tasks. I see him accomplish many of the things at home that he failed to do at the clinic. For example, he was probably too immersed in the newness of the images on the wall he was facing to turn to see Mommy when sitting. At home, he easily twists and turns while sitting. I also felt like he would have responded differently to the small motor skills tasks if he had been offered familiar toys he loves.
In any case, we’ve started making changes. I asked Vlady to give Theo no more than 10 minutes per day in the Jumperoo, and to give him more floor time for sitting, rolling, and tummy time. We’re handing him things to his right side whenever possible. When walking, I now hold him on my right side rather than my left, freeing up his right arm for exploration. When sitting, I try to stick with holding him in positions which will help develop his torso. One way that the doctors suggested was holding him up, facing out, with his ankles crossed swami-style. This makes him work his torso as he keeps himself upright. In general, he needs more exercise in twisting and strengthening his trunk.
Theo had a second appointment this week, his regular pediatrician visit for six-month-olds. I expressed my concerns that Theo seemed to be far behind because the Tuesday doctors didn’t tell me anything about what Theo was doing right. Theo’s pediatrician read the report on the computer, which stated that in almost all cases he was right on track for his milestones. This made me feel a whole lot better. I’ve also noticed, as I mentioned, that in my later observations Theo seems to have a fairly well-developed ability to twist and writhe. He’s an expert in turning and wiggling out of my lap.
Nevertheless, I have taken Kaiser up on the offer of an appointment with a physical therapist on December 22nd. What I’d really like is more ideas about how to help Theo develop all the skills he should. And perhaps they can get a better gauge of his gross motor skills if he doesn’t spit up next time. I doubt we need more physical therapy sessions beyond that. We can figure out the rest on our own. Theo will have a follow-up with the Premature Group in June.
Om Nom Nom
Theo’s tastes are changing. Well, at least what he is tasting is changing. He stills gets the bottle regularly (as he should until he is a year old,) but he’s been trying out more and more pureed food. I also like to offer him a chunk of honeydew melon to gnaw on. He is very interested in putting straws and cups into his mouth. We bought him crackers called Baby Mum Mum, which dissolved quickly on the tongue. He tried these for the first time at his Thursday appointment, and he even fed the cracker to himself. So exciting!
Pook has graduated to a size four nipple, the largest size. He can down 6 ounces pretty quickly now. Unfortunately, he has been eating very little for the past two days. This plus the appearance of more-than-typical crankiness leads me to believe he may be cutting a new tooth.
Vlady selected and fed an entire container of pureed prunes to Theo earlier this week. When he picked up T from Miss Gina the next day, she handed him the baby’s sleeper in a plastic bag. “You might want to burn this.” I didn’t, but it did take some work to clean out the explosion from the diaper blowout that apparently resulted from massive prune intake. The sleeper has been salvaged and is in good condition.
Music Music
On Friday, December 3rd, my friend Crystal invited us to a Music Together sample class in Roseville. It was a 45-minute class for children, and Theo and I joined in. In the middle of the activity rug was a largish drum that the older children walied away on. The teacher was young but very organized and dynamic. Theo couldn’t take his eyes off of her. We learned all kinds of songs, and danced, and played percussive instruments. We enjoyed it very much so I’ve signed us up for another sample class closer to home in Davis. If we like the teacher as well there, I’ll pop for the $175 10-week course. If I don’t, we may have to drive to Roseville each week. That teacher was really great. Both places have classes geared just for babies, as well as mixed-age classes.
The following Sunday, one of the mommies from our Mommy and Me group held a potluck. This was also a lot of fun for Theo and me (Vlady decided to stay a hermit.) Kelly, our host, had a small set of bongo drums. I held them in front of Theo as he sat in my lap. Somehow he figured them out right way. He began banging on both of the with the flat of his palms. Clever boy! I have responded by buying him a baby drum, a baby xylophone, and rhythm sticks for Christmas. Okay, I gave him the sticks a little early.
Santa Dawn and Santa Vlady
Speaking of Christmas, what an exciting time for it to come. Theo is now 6 months old, which opens a whole new world of toys to him. I can’t seem to stop buying him new toys “from Santa.” We’re going from a meager selection of rattles and plushies to puzzles, button-pushing activity centers, and balls that roll themselves to encourage little ones to crawl.
Baby Eagle
Theo has a favorite new sound: a high-pitched squeal that reminds me of a baby eagle. It just lasts and lasts. He seems to revel in his ability to make this voluminous noise.
I’ve been listening carefully to hear more sophisticated sounds. Every once in a while, the squeals turn to babbling and I’ve heard some consonants like Ds and Gs in there from time to time. A few nights ago, T started chewing on his tongue, poking it in between his left-hand gums. He does this while sporting a wide grin/grimace that is just odd. I’ve read online that this is simply another mouth workout for a developing talker.
Hocus Pocus
T’s hand gestures has gone from dreamy swirling to some serious twirling. Sometimes he lowers his head a bit and grunts while he does this. It gives him the appearance of a wizard conjuring up a spell. So I have now dubbed this activity as Hocus Pocus (alternately Alakazam, or Abracababra.)
Here is a video Vlady took today with a little bit of everything: teething crankiness, smiles, exploration with hands, Hocus Pocus, foot-grabbing, squealing and grunting, and rolling and twisting.
On Saturday, we went for our first formal portraits as a family of three. Theo demonstrated his fledgling skill for sitting by himself on the floor. As luck would have, Santa Claus was at the same mall! So Theo got to meet the Jolly Old Elf and sit on his lap.
Click on a thumbnail image below to see a larger version.
